Jumat, 06 November 2009

Getting to Know You

When was the last time you took a good look at your vulva? I'm not talking about anything clinical, kinky, or even sex-related-just taking a hand mirror and inspecting your genitals the same way you might examine your hands while you're doing your nails or look at your skin in the mirror when you wash your face. If you're like most women, looking at your genitals is probably not part of your usual routine. In fact, as children, most of us were taught not to look at, talk about, touch, or pay too much attention to our genitals at all. "Down there" was a private place. Additionally, female genitalia is naturally hidden-enveloped in soft folds of skin, covered by hair, and rather tucked away between our thighs-so it's no wonder our vulva has become a mystery-even to ourselves.

Beyond the woman-to-woman talk about menstruation, most mothers never sit down and describe the details of the vulva, vagina, or clitoris. (In defense of our moms, they may not know very much about the female body themselves.) Schools teach us more about dissecting frogs or turning proper French phrases than about the human body. In health class, the female sexual anatomy is not well taught: The conversation is reduced to talk of zygotes and dividing cells, accompanied by textbook graphics that rarely look like what we see between our legs. As girls, when we weren't trying to hide our developing bodies, we were whispering and giggling about sex, absorbing misinformation from friends who knew as little as we did. Magazines give ten tips for better sex, and novels describe heart-pounding accounts of sexual ecstasy, but these "resources" say little about the bodies involved-ours.

As we get older, we may listen to male sexual partners who claim to have been around. Unfortunately many men know little about their own bodies and considerably less about ours. Because many of us have been conditioned since childhood through verbal and nonverbal cues to think of our genitals as ugly, smelly, and unclean, we aren't able to fully enjoy intimate encounters because of fear that our partner will be turned off by the sight, smell, and taste of our genitals. Unlike men, who experience a veritable show-and-tell in the locker room, we can't compare our genitals to other women's. Unfortunately, we are often left wondering if our genitals are "normal."

We have few means of discovering the tremendous variability of the female sexual anatomy and discovering the truth about the fabulous female body. After years of ignoring that mysterious area "down there," it's no wonder we come to think of our genitalia as inferior, unattractive, unmentionable, and abnormal. When I pick up a hand mirror and ask the women who come to my office to look at their sexual anatomy, a too-common response is "Yuck! It's ugly" or "Am I normal?" I have never heard a woman exclaim "How beautiful!" Yet the female anatomy is exquisitely designed, miraculous, and beautiful. Getting to know your sexual body is vital for your physical health and sexual well-being because the more you know about your body, the more ways you'll discover to obtain pleasure and greater sexual gratification-and the more likely you are to know when something is amiss with your sexual health or sexual functioning. I find that when women begin to learn about their bodies and they begin to feel more comfortable with how their vagina acts and responds, they're intrigued by it-and usually quite empowered to take more control of their well-being-sexual and otherwise.

The Vulva

The part of your sexual anatomy that you can see is called the vulva-the external part of the genitals that includes the mons, labia minora, labia majora,, and the clitoris.

To begin your examination of your vulva, find a well-lit room and grab a mirror. Sit at the edge of a chair or prop yourself up on pillows on a bed, then arrange the light and the mirror so that your hands are free and you have a clear view of your vulva. If you've never taken a look at your genitals before, don't be surprised if you don't find them particularly attractive; your vulva is moist and hairy with textures, colors, and aromas unlike those found on any other part of your body. Learning to admire and appreciate your sexual anatomy will make it easy for you to accept, enjoy, and experience the full potential of your sexuality.

The Mons

The mons pubis, or mons, is a cushion of fat on top of the pubic bone that is covered with skin and hair. The hair begins to grow in as you hit puberty-around eleven or twelve years old. (We are not sure why we have pubic hair, but some scientists think that the hair may trap secretions containing pheromones, or sexual scents, that attract the opposite sex.) Over time, pubic hair may grow in thick or sparse, coarse or fine. It may be the same color and texture as the hair on your head, or it may be somewhat different. As you age, you may notice pubic hairs turn gray and begin to thin and grow sparse. Many young women intentionally shave away all their pubic hair, not just for a clean-cut bikini line, but because they say it makes their vulvas feel more sensitive. The mons contains many nerve endings, and some women find touch and massage of this area very stimulating. Others shave because they feel cleaner, or their boyfriends prefer the smooth feel of a bald vulva.

The Outer Lips (Labia majora)

The pubic hair continues down and over the labia majora, or outer lips. The outer surface of the labia may be smooth or wrinkled and darker in color than the surrounding skin. Don't be surprised if one of your labia is larger or longer than the other. You will notice that the inner surface of the labia is smooth, hairless, and moist because this area contains many sweat- and oil-secreting glands. (Oftentimes, my patients have mistaken the numerous large gland openings for genital warts or related conditions.)

These outermost lips contain fat, nerves, smooth muscle, and blood vessels, and they serve as guards, protecting the openings to the vagina and bladder. Erectile tissue deep within the labia swells with blood when you're sexually excited, and you'll notice that the lips feel full, swollen, tight, or tingly.

The Inner Lips (Labia minora)

If you spread apart your labia majora, you will notice two smooth, thin folds of skin called the labia minora. The sensitive inner lips are filled with blood vessels and spongy tissue and are covered with nerve endings and oil-secreting glands. Like the outer labia, the labia minora fill with blood and enlarge when you're sexually stimulated.

Don't fret if these inner lips don't look like the ones you have seen in books; the labia minora, more than any other part of our genitals, varies from one woman to the next. Your labia may be pink, burgundy, brown, black, or a mixture of colors. They may be so small that they are barely noticeable or large enough to protrude an inch or more beyond the labia majora. It's not uncommon for one to be larger than the other. They may be straight, slightly ruffled, or very wrinkled. (Contrary to the myth, neither wrinkling nor the size of your labia is increased by masturbation.) After twenty years as a gynecologist, I can tell you that no two women's labia look exactly alike. Each is unique, beautiful, and almost flowerlike. Occasionally, the labia are so large that they get snagged in underwear or pulled into the vagina during intercourse-both pretty uncomfortable occurrences. A surgical procedure can reduce the size of the labia, but it's not without risks, so it's usually performed only to reduce discomfort, not for cosmetic reasons.

The top of the labia minora come together and drape over the glans, or head, of the clitoris (which we'll explore a little later), forming the hood or prepuce. The hood is similar to the foreskin of an uncircumcised penis in that it protects the delicate glans. The labia meet underneath the clitoris at a point called the frenulum, which is intensely sensitive to stimulation. (Men have a frenulum as well, which we will discuss later.) The labia then continue toward your vagina and end just beneath the opening of your vagina.hilda hutcherson

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